Demand Letter to a Roommate: Unpaid Rent, Damages & Deposits

Living with a roommate is supposed to split costs, not create them. But when your roommate skips out on rent, trashes the place, sticks you with utility bills, or disappears with your half of the security deposit, you're left holding the bag. And since you're not their landlord, you might wonder: do I have any legal recourse?

Yes. A roommate who owes you money is no different than anyone else who owes you money. You can demand payment, and if they refuse, you can take them to small claims court. A demand letter is the first step — and it often turns out to be the only step you need.

Common Roommate Money Disputes

Before getting into the legal mechanics, let's be specific about what's recoverable:

Unpaid Rent

The most common roommate dispute. Your roommate agreed to pay a share of rent (50%, a fixed dollar amount, whatever) and stopped paying. If you covered their share to avoid eviction, they owe you that money. This is straightforward breach of contract.

Unpaid Utilities

Electric, gas, internet, water — if the bills are in your name and your roommate agreed to split them, every dollar you paid above your share is recoverable. Save every utility bill and every payment confirmation.

Security Deposit Issues

Two common scenarios: (1) You put up the full security deposit and your roommate was supposed to pay you back their share but never did, or (2) your roommate's damage caused the landlord to withhold the deposit, and now you're out money you shouldn't be.

Property Damage

Your roommate broke your furniture, stained the carpet in their room (costing you deposit money), damaged appliances, or destroyed shared household items. If you can document the damage and the replacement cost, it's recoverable.

Early Lease Break

Your roommate left before the lease ended, sticking you with the full rent. If you both signed the lease (or had an agreement about the lease term), you can recover the additional rent you had to pay during the remaining lease period — minus whatever you could reasonably mitigate (like finding a replacement roommate).

Do You Have a Legal Claim?

You need to establish that your roommate had an obligation to pay. This is usually easy:

Written Agreements

If you have a roommate agreement, sublease, or even text messages where your roommate agreed to pay a specific amount, you have strong evidence of a contract. Any writing counts — it doesn't need to be notarized or formally structured.

Verbal Agreements

"I'll pay half the rent" is a verbal contract. It's enforceable, though harder to prove than a written one. Supporting evidence includes:

• Payment history (Venmo, Zelle, bank transfers showing regular payments)
• Text messages or emails discussing the arrangement
• Witness statements from mutual friends
• The pattern of past behavior (6 months of paying half establishes the agreement)

Joint Lease

If both names are on the lease, both roommates are jointly and severally liable to the landlord. But between the two of you, whatever split you agreed to governs. If you had to pay the landlord the full rent because your roommate bailed, you have a claim against the roommate for their share.

What to Include in Your Demand Letter

A roommate demand letter should be straightforward and avoid emotional language. This person may have been your friend — but this is a business matter now.

1. The Facts

State the living arrangement: when you moved in together, the address, the agreed-upon split, and what happened. Example: "We moved into 123 Main St, Apt 4B on March 1, 2025, with an agreed 50/50 split of the $2,400 monthly rent. You paid your $1,200 share through August 2025. You did not pay for September, October, or November 2025."

2. The Amount Owed

Break down every dollar with specificity:

• Unpaid rent: 3 months × $1,200 = $3,600
• Unpaid utilities: Sept-Nov electric ($180), internet ($135) = $315
• Security deposit share: $1,200 (never reimbursed)
• Damage to common area: Broken coffee table replacement = $250
• Total: $5,365

3. Supporting Evidence

Reference (and attach copies of) your evidence: the lease, text messages about the arrangement, bank statements showing your payments, utility bills, photos of damage, landlord's deposit deduction letter.

4. Your Demand

State the total amount, a payment deadline (14-21 days), and what happens if they don't pay (small claims court filing). Offer a reasonable payment plan as an alternative if the total is large — this shows the court you tried to be reasonable.

5. Delivery

Send via certified mail to their current address. If you don't know their new address, email is acceptable as a backup — most small claims courts accept email as valid notice if you can prove it was sent and received.

Why Demand Letters Work for Roommate Disputes

Roommate disputes are actually ideal for demand letters. Here's why:

• Most roommates are young adults who can't afford a court judgment on their record — it affects credit, rental applications, and employment background checks
• The amounts are usually small claims territory ($3,000-$10,000), which means quick, cheap court proceedings
• The evidence is usually clear — leases, Venmo history, and text messages make these cases easy to prove
• Mutual friends create social pressure — nobody wants to be known as the person who stiffed their roommate

Many roommate disputes settle after the demand letter because the roommate realizes you're serious and the cost of losing in court (judgment + filing fees + their time) exceeds just paying what they owe.

If the Demand Letter Doesn't Work

Small Claims Court

Small claims court was literally designed for disputes like this. Here's what to expect:

• Filing fee: $30-$75 in most states (recoverable if you win)
• No lawyer needed: Most small claims courts don't allow lawyers
• Time to hearing: 30-60 days from filing in most jurisdictions
• Evidence needed: Your demand letter (showing you tried to resolve it), the lease or agreement, payment history, text messages, photos, and utility bills
• Typical duration: 15-30 minutes for the hearing

What If You Can't Find Your Roommate?

If your ex-roommate vanished, you'll need to serve them. Options include:

• Their parents' address (often listed on lease applications)
• Their workplace
• Social media (some courts allow service via social media in limited circumstances)
• Service by publication (last resort, expensive)

Collecting a Judgment

If you win in court and your roommate still won't pay, you can pursue wage garnishment, bank account levy, or put a lien on their property. A judgment is valid for 10-20 years in most states and accrues interest.

Protecting Yourself in Future Roommate Situations

Lessons learned are worth sharing:

• Get everything in writing. A simple one-page roommate agreement covering rent split, utilities, deposit, guest policies, and move-out terms takes 30 minutes and prevents 90% of disputes.
• Keep bills in both names when possible — or at least document the split arrangement in writing.
• Collect the deposit share before moving in. Once you're living together, leverage disappears fast.
• Screenshot financial agreements. That casual text "yeah I'll cover half" is a contract. Save it.
• Pay attention to warning signs. If rent is consistently late or "forgotten," have the conversation early.

The Bottom Line

Being stiffed by a roommate feels personal, but handle it as a business matter. Gather your evidence, write a professional demand letter, give them a deadline, and file in small claims court if they don't pay. The law is on your side, the process is designed for exactly this type of dispute, and most roommates pay up once they realize you're serious.

The demand letter is your formal shot across the bow. It says: pay what you owe, or we're going to court. For most people, that's enough motivation to make things right.

Key Takeaways

• A written roommate agreement (even informal texts or emails) is enforceable as a contract in most situations
• You can recover unpaid rent, utility bills, property damage, and your security deposit share through small claims court
• A demand letter often resolves roommate disputes without court because no one wants a judgment on their record
• Document everything with photos, screenshots of conversations, receipts, and bank statements
• Small claims court is designed for exactly these disputes — no lawyer needed, filing fees under $100 in most states

Related Articles

• Demand Letter for Money Owed: How to Get Your Money Back
• Demand Letter for Security Deposit: Get Your Money Back
• Can You Send a Demand Letter Without a Lawyer?
• Small Claims Court Demand Letter: Why You Need One Before Filing